前面 z 小姐問到我關於生小孩的事情。
「你想要一個還是兩個小孩？」她問。
「我決定不要生小孩。」
「啊？爲什麽？你隨便說的吧？」
「因爲，我覺得這個世界實在太醜惡了。我並不是不喜歡小孩，只是我覺得世界這樣惡化下去，我這一代人估計沒有能力修補地球了。我也並不覺得我的小孩可以在人類進程當中做出傑出貢獻，改善人類居住環境這麽偉大。與其生出來受苦，又不能做出什麽貢獻，還不如算了。」
「要不要這麽高呀？」
「這個叫自私，不是高。」
那一刻，我認真覺得是自私，我不想看到我的小孩受苦。
難道別人的小孩就應該受苦嗎？
又或者我小孩的小孩可以很叻，去哈佛讀個流體力學博士什麽，或者做些什麽很勁的基礎科學研究之類的，我都會覺得很欣慰的。
爲什麽我好像很希望把別人逼上做研究之路，我每天都在心理呼喚的「己所不欲，勿施於人」精神去哪裡了？
===============================================
不相關插播：貌似我的link都恢復正常狀態了！奇跡！真的發生了！
4 comments:
i would say..hving a child is selfish in some sense..hving an eternal target which u could love forever, finding some meaning/anchor for the rest of life, hving someone to lean on when you are old (wishful thinking), giving oneself the opportunity to re-grow and test one's strength. We are lone animals, and ageing is the inevitable path. I will give thought to hving a child, if there is an opportunity. in fact, sometimes i want more to hv a child than getting married.
g: yeah, i agree with you in the sense that you'll always have this one person to love for the rest of your life though it might even turn into unilateral selfless love. i don't know how one should react if the love becomes unreciprocated under circumstances.
i don't know if i want to get married or have children right now. i guess i'm not ready to make a big commitment, or really, any kind of commitment yet.
"if the love becomes unreciprocated under circumstances"
that's the problem. can any mothers around explain how this is/will be dealt with? How will the parental feelings change, from the point when your child is just born, turns 5, 15, and 20?
i was just checking fb and found the photos of a primary school classmate, which just gave birth to a baby. There is a photo showing my classmate's mother, and in my impression, she used to be very 清麗 woman (so as her daughter). of course, she looks old now. So here it is. Two generations of mothers. one succeed another. The cliched life paths suddenly become real. That makes you ponder if life can be just very simple, and one need not think/ask too much.
In some sense, no matter how successful a person can be, s/he would also want to pass it on to the next generation through her/his wonderful genes. But that's a different story. E.g. Charles darwin and george darwin... :) but do successful ppl always have successful kids?
Post a Comment